He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
