oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize