is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize