I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
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