you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
