It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I am available for nakedness
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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