is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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