i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
And the cops told us we were all naked.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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