mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
false alarm. still invincible.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
