We got so high we made milksteak
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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