so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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