fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Randomize
