My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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