i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
