he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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