Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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