Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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