My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
