Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I think a kid would responsible me up
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
