as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
