i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize