Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
operation harelip BJ is a go
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
