Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
