He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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