He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
