i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
