Me too!
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
