I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
