The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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