Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Of course I have a pirate flag
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
