you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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