I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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