he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
