dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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