I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
you inspire me to be a worse person
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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