OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
