He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
