I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
