I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize