$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
