i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
The uberlube is also flammable
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
