my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
