I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize