is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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