I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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