i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
