Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
