Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
