Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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