So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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