She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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