well I can't set my house on fire every night
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
