They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
