Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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