Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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