My room smells like vodka and shame
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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