dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
either way he was missing a nipple.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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