I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I need moral support for this bender
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
